At the graduation ceremony, I finally mustered up the courage to confess to my long-time crush. But then—BAM!—I got hit by a car. When I opened my eyes, my crush stood over me, his face a mask of cold indifference. "Oh, you're awake? Perfect timing. Let's discuss our divorce agreement." Me: ??? I hadn't even confessed my feelings yet. How the hell did we jump straight to divorce?