I was part of this family,wasn’t I?
However, at some point
,I became the outsider.

When we were kids,my sister,Grace,fell into a pool and got hurt.
Mom blamed me for not saving her,accusing me of jealousy,saying I wanted Grace dead.
To“protect”Grace,they sent me to a boarding school,allowing me to go home only once a year
They called it discipline.
I was locked away for eight years while Grace grew up pampered by Mom’s side.
Every year,Grace’s birthday lit up Harborview with fireworks that spelled her name.

On my birthday,I’d stand on the school’s rooftop,watching those lights,then staring at the ground below.
I wondered if dying would make them remember me.
But each time I wanted to jump,I thought of Mom,my brothers.
Maybe tomorrow they’ll come for me.Maybe it’s a misunderstanding.If I explained,they would love me again.

After all,I was their daughter as well
I dreamed of reuniting with them.
When the corrupt school closed,I returned to the Harper family,hiding my scars,playing the good kid, and pleasing everyone
But they thought I was scheming,trying to steal Grace’s spotlight.
They accused me of poisoning her with food she was allergic to.
When Grace was admitted to the hospital
,my eldest brother locked me in the basement to“vent.”
I cried and explained, but no one listened
They stayed by Grace’s side,forgetting me for three days.
I was nearly starved,barely alive when they remembered.
My health crumbled.Nighttime stomach pain woke me.
I tried telling Mom,but they called me manipulative.
I still remember their words when I left:
“Had enough?Stop pretending to be a victim”
“No one believes you anymore.”
“If you want to die,do it far away.No one’s cleaning up your mess.”
This time,I was really dying.
I’d finally be out of their way.
Good.I didn’t need this family.
My wrist bled endlessly.Too slow.
I opened the door,stepped onto the rooftop,and looked down.
At boarding school,I was relentlessly bullied,I’d climb to the roof when I couldn’t take it.
I never jumped.
I was scared of dying.
Who would want to die if they could live?
Now,I wasn’t afraid.
I had days left.I might as well end it.
It’s a pity that no one would collect my body
Maybe next life,I’d have better luck.
I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and got ready to step off
My phone rang.
I answered.“Hello…”
Nathan’s voice came, sounding relieved.
“Where are you?I’m lost.”
I froze.
The wind on the rooftop howled
My quiet voice reached him.
He sensed something, and his tone was shaky.
“Listen,I was in a rush and didn’t grab my tools.I can’t handle your body right now.”
The rooftop was empty, and the wind was fierce.
Yet,in this silence,his voice soothed me.
No one had spoken to me like this in so long.
But I didn’t want to burden him.
“No need to collect my body,”I said softly.