Elliot stood there in a daze until he could no longer see Ashley's figure, he suddenly woke up, and when he wanted to chase after her again, he could no longer see her traces.

He reached out and knocked on his head: "What was I thinking... If this woman loved money, she would hold my hand tighter, right?"


And not pushing him away, holding him tightly, is holding money tighter, right?

Immediately, Elliot wondered... Why? Is it because of that guy Milan?

The more he thought about it, the more it seemed right, Elliot's face revealed a confident look: "That Milan guy, Ashley will accept me sooner or later."


 Ashley hurried back to the dormitory, slamming the door as soon as she entered the room as if a wild animal was chasing her from behind.

Her clothes had fallen off, torn, fortunately, the driver braked in time, fortunately, she was wearing a long shirt and long pants so she didn't fall too seriously, the skin on her palm was a little scratched, but it was okay.


After haphazardly treating the wound on her palm, she picked up the phone beside her, hesitated for a moment, and called Meadow: "Today I... want to take a day off."

Meadow was suddenly startled, then looked at the phone screen again, it was indeed Ashley calling, she was surprised: "Ashley, what's the matter?"

"Nothing, just a little tired, want to take a day off."

Meadow "Oh" ed, a little happy and relieved: "Okay", she frankly agreed: "You rest. Okay, just rest well today, you don't need to worry about things here." After saying that, she hung up.

 Ashley stood up, walked to the wooden table by the window in the bedroom sat down, slowly pulled open the drawer, and took out a notebook from inside.

After being released from prison, she had no special hobbies, nor any extra activities, this notebook became her only pleasure, a companion in her boring life after being released from prison.

She hadn't written a diary for a long time, the latest diary page, the content was: After three years of separation, I met him again.

There was no unnecessary description, no description of her feelings, just telling this story.

Opening the notebook, there was a ballpoint pen inside, Ashley picked up the pen, and slowly wrote: Elliot suddenly appeared, he asked me again, 'Will you agree to be my girlfriend'.

I always thought that the first time he asked, it was just this man's interest, suddenly thought of it.

After that, I didn't see him again.

 But today he appeared in front of me again, asking me about the same problem again.

I wanted to take it as a joke.

But Elliot didn't, I saw his eyes were serious and stubborn.

He said he was very serious, and his eyes, told me that he wasn't lying.

He said I didn't need to walk toward him, let him walk toward me, he said he would make me happy, and wouldn't let me shed a single tear.

Happiness... Who wouldn't want it?

There was a moment when I was really moved, otherwise, I don't think I would have suddenly asked him: What kind of person is Ashley in your eyes... For example, if I hadn't been moved at that time, I wouldn't have asked this question. What moved me wasn't Elliot, but the "happiness" that Elliot talked about. I also wanted to see, how different was I in his eyes from me in real life.

He said I was strong, brave, daring, and enduring… This is not me.

I am really selfish, I can face him to tell him my mediocrity and suffering and show him the most unpleasant side of me. I can face him to tell him: No, I am not as beautiful as you say.

I can let him see the current me with his own eyes: mediocre, weak, incompetent, indifferent… and even selfish.

At that moment I wanted to tell him the truth, I saw the sincerity in that man's eyes, his eyes looking at me were very stubborn, very serious, very determined, and also very… thoughtful.

At that moment, I immediately had my thoughts, I suddenly did not want to let him know my ugly appearance anymore.

 I know, I don't love him... Because my heart has long died, along with the heart's beating mechanism, it can only beat stiffly, no longer capable of loving anyone. How can I accept that sincere feeling?

But now in this world, there are not many people willing to look at me with colorful eyes, with serious, attentive, sincere eyes...

Suddenly, I am very afraid, afraid that those eyes will turn into eyes of contempt and disdain like others.

He said again: Just try, if you don't try, how do you know you won't be happy?

I know clearly - it will not be possible to be happy.

A person like me, shouldering a life, what qualifications do I have to live happily under the sun?

Taking the life that Lorne exchanged for me, in exchange for happiness?

Absurd.

But I hate my meanness even more.

 Although I don't want to admit it countless times, this is the truth...

I ran away... not only because I owed Lorne and didn't dare to hope for happiness, I knew I was dirty, from the beginning until now, I still had to take advantage of a deceased person, to avoid Elliot's feelings.

It's better not to contact anymore. He probably won't appear in front of me again.

Very good.

A life without big storms is what I need the most.

Wait until I don't have to go through storms, earn enough money, wait for that person to hate everything, and then it's time for me to leave.

Closing the notebook, the woman stood up, and opened the window, letting the rain pour into the room.

The cold of the rain, cold to the bone, she curled up, hugging her arms tightly, and her mind became clearer than ever.

She was very clear, about what was she doing right now, very clear, every single thing she was doing.

Ashley had never met anyone like Elliot.

"Hey, what are you standing there for, get in the bicycle."

 Under the shade of the tree, the man in the white shirt is still the same as yesterday.