KADEN’S P.O.V

My mind felt like it was being split open, like someone had put their hands into my skull and was trying to tear my brain in two. Everything burned, everything hurt and it felt like I was watching from outside of my body as my own hands choked the life out of her. I couldn’t move, couldn’t stop the calamity that was about to happen until I heard her voice in my mind, soft and coaxing. I wasn’t sure how she managed to break through that haze in my head but she did and I felt it snap. My hands released her and she fell to the ground. I stared at what I had done in horror. She was breathing but barely.


“You did so well, Kaden,” I heard Natasha say from behind me and fury bubbled in my chest like a raging inferno. I turned to her and she wasn’t even looking at me, her eyes were fixated on Amelia’s unconscious body on the ground.

I slowly walked over to her trying to rid my eyes of the image that was permanently seared beneath my lids, the image of my own mate thrashing in my hold as I struggled to snuff the light out of her eyes. I knew it would haunt me in my dreams. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t in control, it was my hands, it was my voice, my wolf- I did it. My wolf was quiet in my head as shame filled him. Whatever spell Nadine had put on him was broken by whatever Amelia did and I could feel his shame and embarrassment.

As I got closer to Natasha, she lifted her eyes and she must have realized the murderous intent in my eyes because she took a slow step back. “Kaden, why are you looking at me like that? I didn’t do anything, you killed her, you hate yourself for it, you don’t hate me.”


“It won’t work,” I told her simply and she looked around searching for a way to escape but I grabbed her by the arm and pinned her to the tree. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t fucking kill you where you stand? I am against killing women but I will make an exception for you.”

“I don’t deserve to die. You are the one who almost killed her, you killed my sister and you were going to kill Amelia too. I didn’t do anything to you except bring out your true primal nature. Everything that you did was of your own accord.”


“Liar,” I spat in her face slamming her hard into the tree. “You told me to do it. You did something to me. You took control of my mind you slimy bitch.”

I wrapped my hand around her throat. Flashes of what I had done to Amelia filled my mind but I pushed it away long enough to focus on Natasha. She needed to die, she needed to go slowly and in the exact way that Amelia would have gone. I wanted her dead and I wanted her dead by my own hand.

“Kaden!” I heard my name being yelled and I turned to find Clara. She was wearing a flowing dress and she had Caleb with her. He was bent over Amelia and looking over her. “Stop, you don’t want to do it this way. You don’t want to have that memory in your head.”

“I could have killed Amelia.”

“That is true, but she doesn’t deserve what you are going to go through if you choke her to death. You will see her face every night when you go to bed right there with Amelia’s. She doesn’t deserve to live in your head that way.”

I knew Clara was right but it didn’t mean I had to like it. I let go of Natasha and she coughed and spluttered as she tried to get air into her lungs. I started to run away from her when I realized that her coughs had morphed into a weird kind of laugh. She looked nearly insane as she clutched her stomach.

“You weak fucking bastard,” she snarled. “You can’t even kill me right. You never deserved Nadine. She would have been perfect without you. I told her to leave you but she was stupid in love. The stupid little bitch wanted to run away with you. I wanted her to realize that you were bad for her. You were supposed to die!”

I was stunned by her words. She was still laughing manically but her last words lingered in my brain. “What do you mean I was supposed to die?”

“It wasn’t rocket science that the cliff was dangerous- everyone knew. When I asked Nadine to go there, I had expected that you would fall off. I planned for you to fall off. You were at the edge, you were the one who was to fall when I threw that rock but she pushed you out of the way and she fell. It is your fault!”

She was screaming at this point and I couldn’t believe her words. It was no wonder she had lost her goddamned mind, she killed her own sister. She killed her sister and the thought of it had been too much for her that she somehow convinced herself that I was responsible. I had beaten myself up over something when it was her fault.

“I will spend every waking moment of my life making sure that you pay-” her words died on her throat and she looked down at my hand that had broken clean through her chest. I was clutching her heart in one hand and she knew exactly what was coming next. “Do it.”

I pulled my hand out taking her heart with me and her body crumpled to the floor. I felt the moment her heart stopped beating and without one last look at her, I dropped it. It was mercy to kill her, she deserved to suffer but I had enough of my past, what mattered to me was my mate. I turned away from her and rushed over to Amelia. She was still lying on the floor but she was in Caleb’s arms.

“Is she okay?” I asked as I got closer and I noticed that her eyes were already open and she was staring at me. I opened my mouth to speak but no words would come out. I remembered everything clearly, everything that I did.

I wished I didn’t remember, at least I would have been able to feign ignorance but the memories were clear as day in my mind. I reached out for Amelia but when I noticed the blood coating my fingers, I pulled it back. Shame tasted tangy, like a horrible coat of paint, it stuck to my skin, to the air around me and my throat. It made it hard to even swallow.

“I-” I began but I couldn’t form a single word. Nothing would have been enough, not sorry, not apologies and not even telling her that I loved her. The memories were there, between us, they would always be tainted.

“I take it that you are yourself again,” her voice was croaky and hoarse and it pained me to know that it was my fault. All I could muster was a slight nod of my head and she sniffled. “What did she do to you?”

“She had my mind under control. I was there but I couldn’t control my own actions,” it sounded like a fucking cop out. I should have been stronger for her, I should have done more. “What did you do to break it?”

“I don’t know, my wolf did it.”

My eyes stung with unshed tears and all I could do was blink them away. “Can I just hold you for one second? I know that is an insane request but please, I will lose my goddamned mind if I don’t.”

I expected her to refuse but to my shock, she nodded. Clara and Caleb were not so keen on stepping away from her but after a look from her, they did. I went down on my knees in front of her and cradled her gently into my chest. We both ignored the very obvious bruising on her throat and the blood on my hands. In that moment, all that mattered was the fact that I could hold my mate.

The tears that I had been trying to hold back fell quickly and I buried my face into her neck. I could feel moisture on my shoulder from where she was crying as well. I wasn’t sure how long we stayed there, I just needed to hold her and feel that she was alive. It was not until she pulled back from me that I finally released her.

“We have to get her to the hospital to make sure that nothing was broken,” Caleb said and I nodded. It was the right thing to do. I wanted to go with her but he stopped me as Clara walked her to the car. “I think you should give her some space. What happened was insane and she needs time to process it.”

“You are asking me to stay away from her while she is in the hospital from something I did?”

“No, you can be at the hospital but I am saying that you cannot ride with her. You didn’t see how broken up she was about this. You didn’t see how hurt she was. We had to pick up the pieces and even we aren’t sure how much this destroyed her.”

“I didn’t mean it,” my voice cracked on the end. “I didn’t- you know I would never hurt her.”

“I know, you love that girl more than your own life and if you love her, you will let her ride to that hospital alone. You can come after but you will respect if she asks you to stay outside. She spent the last few weeks running after you, it is about time that you did the same. She deserves a break, Kaden. She has been through so much.”

“I know,” I whispered wiping the tears off my face. “How could I have been so stupid? I didn’t even know it was happening until it was too late. I am meant to be her mate.”

“You made a mistake- we all do, but the good thing is that you have the chance to make it better. You have the chance to prove that it was a mistake.”

He wanted to say more but I heard Clara call out for him.

“Before you go, how did you know that we were here?” I asked. “Did Amelia call you? Did you follow me?”

“She did this on her own. Clara had a vision from the birds, that was how we tracked you,” he cleared his throat and looked over his shoulder at Natasha’s body. “You should clean that up first and you might want to get the blood off your clothes and hands. We will be at the hospital.”