[From Luana Casavia to Rey Lueic]

This morning's sunshine contrasts with your immersive good looks.


It feels like something tickled my ears last night, though I vaguely suspect it. My memory is not as good as yours perhaps, but I kept all those smiles in the depths of my heart.

I locked it tightly so that no one would know that you were there, because I really couldn't develop feelings for you for anything. Because until whenever, you are not mine.

There was something that made me leave all my doubts last night, until I finally ended up with you here. But remember, that I only consider this as a story scribbler. Because I may not have much time left, and I'm suddenly greedy for the universe to stop time for us.


So that I don't have to say goodbye, so that I can continue to be here even if it's just a hoax. We can never be in the same place, because you and I were born in different ways.

Even against the world, you and I will never be us.


Now let me be greedy for once, and I will remember this moment for the rest of my life. That I was once your harbor, that I was once the place where you passed away.

Although it will always be unreal, I really want you to be happy. Even if it's not with me, even if it will be without me there in the future.

One night was enough for me, because I had secretly stood on the threshold of consciousness.

I (may) have loved you, sir. And I am ready to be put to death for it.

***

Luana came to her senses first.

The sunlight peeking through the crack in the window managed to tickle her consciousness, a moment before she writhed to gather her life.

A sturdy arm was draped over her flat stomach, and Luana knew it belonged to her husband.

Rey Lueic, who was still sleeping very soundly.

Not trying to move excessively, Luana kept him from waking up to her. Because last night she remembered vaguely about their conversation, when she was awake for just a few minutes.

"What time did you go to bed last night, sir?" Luana asked quietly, keeping her voice to herself because she knew Rey might not hear her.

Rey's breathing sounded soothing, regular and rhythmic. Luana was willing to bet the man must be in the depths of his dreams, with his eyelids tightly closed.

Observing the man's eyebrows, Luana smiled as well when she noticed her husband's eyelashes that looked long and silky.

"You were made to be a casanova, Mr. Rey," Luana monologued to herself again in the morning.

This moment was a first for her, and she didn't want to leave yet. Watching Rey fall asleep warmed her heart, and she could not have asked for more.

"Look at how the Creator sculpted your face, with a bead that is so calm especially when you smile," Luana praised sincerely, from the deepest recesses of her heart.

Rey's attitude and treatment of her lately had succeeded in making Luana almost forget how the man had treated her in the early days of their marriage. Never again did Luana hear Rey grin sharply, because everything has been replaced with a shady look and a smile that is always bright.

The change of course made Luana happy, and she felt so appreciated despite the fake status she was currently living in.

The look on the woman's face seemed to turn glum now, just as her fake status came to mind.

"Unfortunately this will all be over soon, sir," Luana said again. There was still no answer from Rey, as the man continued to sleep.

Taking a deep breath, Luana exhaled heavily afterward.

"You were there, and you made me feel different," Luana murmured half dreamy. "I'm sorry that I was greedy for you, sorry that I suddenly wanted more than what I should have asked for in this wedding."

There was a tone of disappointment implied in Mrs. Lueic's words, with a sadness that she could not hide. Looking at Rey's face with almost teary eyes, Luana moved slowly to stroke her husband's cheek.

Letting the surface of her palm collide with the fine hairs around the man's chin, Luana was enjoying the time that might no longer be in her favor.

Maybe not for a second chance.

"You should be happy, Mr. Rey," Luana wished now. "Be happy, and let go of any lingering grudges or anger."

Two seconds of silence.

"And so will I be," Luana continued. "A night with you is enough to keep me alive, at least I had you for once."

There was no longer any hesitation in Luana's tone, even though at first the woman had been so afraid to even touch Rey.

The shadows of what they went through in Heidelberg back then were now successfully replaced almost entirely, as Rey completely spoiled her last night. Their touch, their interaction, their pecking, until their union - it was enough for Luana.

She did not dare to ask for more, she did not dare even to dream of more.

Because she clearly knew that she did not have the decency to be next to that man, her own husband.

"In the future I will go as far as possible, to carry the memories that were created between us," said Luana with a slightly trembling voice. "For me, one night was enough for you to pay for everything. Now we're even, and there's nothing left."

Wiping away the tears that had fallen without her realizing it, Luana moved to get off the large bed. Pulling the blanket back over Rey's firm body, the young woman set foot on the cold marble floor.

Picking up her pajamas that had been lying on the floor all night, Luana made a small run to reach the bathroom door. Closing the door without making too much noise, she turned on the shower and submerged herself under the water.

Let the cold keep her awake, let the cold make her stop dreaming.

Staring at her innocent reflection in the mirror, Luana's fingers moved to touch the love marks Rey had left on her body. Tracing her neck, nape, and upper chest, the woman painted a faint smile.

It was bitter, and full of sadness.

"I'll be fine," she murmured silently. "Even without you, I'll be fine."