Talia's POV



'I'm so sorry." I repeated. I did not want the tears, but they came away. It was corny, like I was looking for a way out of the mess I had created. It almost felt, to me, as if I was trying to blackmail him emotionally, somewhat. Where he'd have to not shout at me because I was already a puddle. More embarrassing is that I was naked, I could not even get up. It really was so much. I had never been more humiliated. What the hell was I thinking?! I couldn't look at his face, I was disappointed in myself enough, with the slightest push, I'd slit my own throat and call it all off.

'What do you think?" He asked. I hate how oblivious he was to the fact that I was ashamed. I was properly humiliated, sitting naked on his bed and having him watch me like I was a show. He wasn't even getting hard, or if he was, it clearly wasn't visible. He had his flirty smile on though, if that meant anything. 'How much did you see?" He backed up his previous question and also snapped me out of self loathing.

'I saw just two days." I replied, ashamedly. By the second, it got cringier than it formerly was. I has almost doubled over in a attempt to put my breasts together betweeny things were they were less visible. He did not even try to hold himself back. He laughed so hard he almost rolled over. Sadly for me, he had entered the room already and was just inches away from me.


'Could you please grab something I could use to cover up?" I finally thought it smarter to let go of my stupid pride, which actually shouldn't be there any longer because he has explored this body even when I didn't have it. My face was still down ‘cause there was no way in hell I could look into his eyes. Needless to say, things were going to be extra weird after that. He did not as much as shuffle his feet. Just stood there arms akimbo like no one had just talked, looking at me like I was some sort of nonliving specimen.

'Since you know how to find things, how about you find that too?" It really wasn't even funny, but seeing Kael double down, cracking up badly and ripping his seams all over at his lame joke let a giggle escape my lips too. At least, he was wasn't annoyed, that's one thing I've gained from this conversation. He just was having his fill of fun from watching me. I finally my head to meet his staring down at me. We locked eyes for a minute and I did not see anything like hurt or betrayal in his eyes, or even with the journal I was mindlessly going through,


'Is this why you did not insist on following me in the morning?" With one hand resting loosely on his waist and one on his chin, stroking his heard carelessly.

I let a little frown. What did he even man by that? It's not like he would have agreed to. Did he want me to beg? What sort of ego maniac is this?

'What do you mean by that?" I asked him because I was really confused.

'That was a joke, never mind." He dismissed it. Suddenly he tore his eyes away from my body finally, I wonder what must have been going through his mind then. 'I just don't know what else to say, and I kinda like this view." He still wasn't looking at me.

'So for how long are we gonna be like this?" I asked him. It was funny, to be honest, but I was also ashamed. I'm the exposed one here.

'The big question is, how do you think you can make this up to me?" He replied, smiling very naughtily.

'Oh fuck!" I replied in mock agony. 'What's your price?" I asked. A part of me was scared that somehow he'd come up with something outrageous, the other part felt like Kael was just going to be Kael and ask for something nasty.

'I want you to turn me on," He said, that was an easy task, I let out the breath I didn't know I had been holding in, 'with just your mouth. I mean, I want you to say just dirty things."

Now that was something. I wasn't the one who did all the dirty talk while we were having sex, it was Kael. The only thing I did with my mouth was suck on him, kiss him and moan. This was really something. I almost even laughed. How did he think I was going to be able to do that?

'Is it negotiable?" I asked, first. But then, I reasoned that I was still giving him a chance to say no. 'I'd rather do something else. Maybe pick it myself?" I suggested, knowing fully well that I was pushing my luck.

'Did I get to pick which of my journals you snooped through?" Target hit. I got the point, and sadly, he was right.

'Isn't this a bit childish?" I asked, playing the bigger person. He smiled when he realized that I was just deflecting and trying to either buy time or wiggle my way out of it.

'Would you like it if I was only acting mature? There's a child in all of us." To be honest, I wouldn't. Mature Kael wasn't an exactly pleasant person to live with.

'If this is the child in you talking, tell him I'd rather speak to the adult." I joked. Thankfully, he found it funny and was already in stitches.

'I'm still waiting." He said when the laughter had subsided.

'Unrelated, but could I ask you something?" I was about to blow the good mood into the tiny wind, but I feel there's really more to do beyond sex and sexual talk.

'What is it?" He was frowning now, my last chance to snap out of what I was about to ask.

'What's with the nightmares?" I plunged head first. I saw him recoil internally. Bad choice of words, I guess.

'I don't want to talk about that." He told me. I got that, it's probably some stuff he's never talked about.

'How about your meeting with your brother?" I continued. I was in a row.

'I did not want you to come with me, what would make you think I'd tell you that?" He looked less friendly now. I had bitten more than I could chew.

'I just thought I could shoot one last shot." I said before shutting up.

Why did I even ask in the first place? What was I thinking? There was really no point staying this close to him. He's obviously very vexed. On the other hand I couldn't feel too bad. Our relationship has been really superficial and sex based. I cannot be the weird one for wanting to know more. If I wasn't just his sorry escape from reality, he should not be this riled up. I stood up either way and closed up his journal before shamefully walking out back to his main room where I was supposed to be.

You did not have to do that, Talia. You really did not have to. It was too late already. I feel sorry, but it's actually really necessary. I just hope it doesn't sprawl into weeks of cold treatment and exchange born out of absolute necessity.

'Aren't you worse than I am?" Kara said. Her voice is the very last thing I wanted to hear. I did not want to feel worse than I already do. I'm naked both physically and mentally.

'Please, Kara! Not now, please." I shunned her. I did not like how I was becoming nasty, but it's honestly hard to help. It feels like it's all my fault but I'll legit just another pawn in fates hands. All I was trying to do is make myself sure about something.

'You're just trying to escape yourself. But you know you can only run, you can't hide. You'd have to deal with the shit you've caused already. When things are really just starting to get bearable, you go ahead and soil it in the best way possible. Firstly, you go through the man's journal, then you sit naked in his bed and ask him about his nightmares. Who fucking does that?!" It felt like she was screaming in my head. It hurt and I couldn't help the tears streaming down.

I looked up and saw Kael looking at me, standing by the door. I really thought he was going to come in. I looked at him sheepishly with tears in my eyes.

'I'm sorry." I apologized.

He turned right back and walked away without a single word. This really was just me. I felt shitty, dirty even. At this rate, do I even deserve anything good? I really should give up, probably start thinking of life outside here since, clearly, I couldn't cohabit with Kael.