Talia's POV



Kael walked out, feeling both disgusted and frustrated.

I felt like a big disappointment, a really big one. I had just strolled into his life to put him through so much and am ready to get back out with nothing to compensate him for all the love and care he showed to me.

The funny thing is he does not even want compensation in whatever kind, well, except me of course. Makes me remember a particular day when he was so drunk, must have been on the night of one of our very pointless arguments, so he went ahead and got drunk.


'Hey." He said when he got in. I could smell the alcohol, but he still looked to coordinated to have drank so much as to stink on my.

'Hi." I replied him. Still studying what was up with him.


'Come here." Before I could look away, he collapsed on the bed next to me. His breath reeked of alcohol of all sorts.

'Could you face the other side?" I suggested. I knew he was drunk, but it's the first time and I don't know what sort of drunk he is. I hope it's not the angry type.

'Like I always do?" He replied, his voice sounding slurry.

'Like you always do? How?" I asked him. Disregarding his drunken state.

'Talia, if I did not always look the other way, I would have had my way with you regardless of what Moon Goddesses plan was." He confessed, sounding very genuine and pathetic.

'So why do you look the other way?" I asked. Trying to mill as much as I could from him as he was drunk and could not keep track of how much he didn't mean to spill but was already spilling.

'Because I…" He slurred and fell asleep before completing his sentence.

I promised myself to never bring it up after then. But it really got me thinking how much went through his head all the times he seemed silent and observant, like he did not know what he was doing.

Back to reality…

Here we are still yet. I'm not any better, things have not changed for good, just retrogressed from the point where I could at least take care of myself, to needing him again to do all the things we both are not comfortable with, but it's necessary. It took a lot of peptalk from me to myself to keep back the tears that stung at the back of my eye each time I think too much about my situation.

My head felt too heavy and was like something was constantly jammed in it, at irregular intervals. I want to quit, but that really is not an option. There is too much at stake, not that I know of yet, but the least good I can do myself is at least find out.

The room suddenly seems dingy and far less homely than I remembered it to be. I don't want to be here. Heck, I don't even want to be alive. Sadly and quite unfortunately, I'm both, worse still I'm on a long trip to recovery.

'How are you?" He asked.

I looked out to see that the day have grown really dark. I might have pitied myself for quite a long while. I could not even close my eyes talk less of sleep.

'How are you?" I asked him, feeling sorry.

'You go first," He objected, 'I asked you first." Kael was definitely not going to talk till I did, oh well.

'I don't want to give up, I don't want to back down." I started, all the while questioning myself in the head as to if what I was saying is really and answer to the question and why I was even saying it at all. 'I feel sorry for you, I really do. You don't deserve all this, you don't deserve me, you don't deserve to be used like this. You deserve something or someone much better, someone who has a less chaotic past, someone who is less fucked in the head, someone in their own body, someone who hasn't come back to avenge their own death, someone who can love you for free, someone who makes you the happiest man alive, someone who is less battered in and out, someone who has a more flawless skin, and eyes and smile and…" The tears are streaming down full speed and I did not even try to stop it. Kael put his left hand over my mouth and uses his right to cuddle my head to his belly.

'You are looking at yourself through the ugliest of lenses." He started. I wanted to to protest, but his hand firmly kept my mouth shut. I was grateful for it.

'I don't mean to complicate things, Talia. Which is why I've been seemingly holding back and avoiding certain conversations." He continued, it felt like he was struggling to push the words out around a lump in his throat, but I know if there was a lump there at all, it was his ego.

'But I'm scared to lose you. I really can not imagine what life here would be like when you are no more with me. My horribly boring life had metamorphosed into something beautiful, and I'm too scared to let it go." The words were flowing more freely and less hindered. 'I don't want to feel how I felt since I lost…since I lost her. Being alone was my coping mechanism, infiltrating packs and causing troubles was my next best thing because it gave my life some purpose. All that was till, till I met you, Talia."

Then there was silence. I could not tell what was coming, I don't even know if I cared. More recently, it always struck me like I have a very limited time here, so I try to make the best of my present. It felt like I had no more problems, my head resting on his shoulders felt like heaven.

'Our time together definitely would come to an end, sooner or later, each moment we spend together makes it less." He continued. 'But how I feel about you, Talia, what I feel about you…"

I started sobbing.