"I'm on break back for Christmas, how have you been?"

"Good yeah I'm in charge of Buddy's shop now so that's pretty cool"


"That is wow and look at your truck so big and... red" that ends awkwardly. I was always so awkward around Carson since high school, high school was terrible but Carson Davis made it so bearable just by blessing the halls with his presence.

"So tell me what happened here" He walks around staring at my car

"Well the hood's been making this noise for a few miles, and when I got here it just started smoking. Like it was warning me not to come home or something" I chuckle joking Carson smiles staring at me


"Why don't we pop the hood" going inside the car I pull the little lever popping the hood. Standing in front of it Carson is hit by a cloud of smoke, once it clears he sticks his hand in looking around "there's the problem" he points "your spark plugs are pretty damaged"

"Oh yeah, they're pretty bad huh?" I pretend but have no clue what he's talking about


"Nothing I can't fix" He turns to me "here's what we'll do, I'll hook this up and take it back with me I can take you to your parents if you'd like but we'd first have to stop by the shop so I can drop the car off. How does that sound?"

"Sounds like a plan." Grabbing my things from the car I get in his truck and just watch as he hooks the car up, I don't even bother helping because honestly, I'd probably just make it worse. I watch Carson in the rear view mirror swooning because after years of not seeing each other he's still so beautiful, and I'm still the closeted kid secretly in love with him except for now I'm not in the closet.

"So how's college and the big city?" Carson asks as he drives us to his shop

"It's good I think I'm sleeping through it all though" I chuckle "what about you?"

"As you can see I'm still here, college was never my thing but I started working with uncle Buddy and last year he retired and gave me the shop so I stay busy with that."

"That's great"

"Wanna try that again and mean it this time?" We laugh

"No I mean it I really think that's great, you found something to keep you here, I never could"

"I remember you always dreaming about what it'd be like to leave" this place was never for me. We get to his shop and he unhooks the car "so how long will it take to fix? I'm in no rush I'm here a

whole month"

"It shouldn't take that long" god I'm freezing, of course, I forgot my jacket and now I look like a jackass "want to grab a cup of coffee to catch up before I take you home?" God yes!

"Sure, the diner still around?"

"It is but I was thinking upstairs, I have one of those fancy keurigs and my mom dropped off Christmas cookies this morning. What do you say?" I nod "come on"

Following him, we walk up these stairs in the shop till we get to his apartment. he has a decent looking place on top of the shop, taking his jacket off he shuts the door behind me "why are you open on Christmas?" I walk behind him to the kitchen

"I'm not but your mom asked for a favor and Mrs. Shay gets all the favors she wants" he smiles "how cool are these?" he points to the rack

of kcups "you can pick anyone you want and just pop it in here" I obviously know how to work a Keurig but his excitement about it is just too adorable.

"When did you move in here?" I ask as we stand in his kitchen with some distance between us "After uncle Buddy signed the rights to me last year, his wife was working on this place before she

passed and he said it's all mine so I can move out of my parent's house"

"It's really nice"

"Thanks." We start to drink our coffee in awkward silence avoiding eye contact "you must be excited to be back and see your family"

"More petrified than excited really"

"Why?"

"Well there's the whole gay thing they just can't seem to get over, so that's always in question every time I see them"

"I'm sure you can handle it"

"That's the thing I just don't want to this year, school was so stressful and I wish I could just come home and relax but I can't"

"I can help with that" I watch as he walks to a cabinet and grabs a bottle of alcohol "nothing a little rum in your coffee can't fix" he smiles

"It's like you're reading my mind" I hand him my mug and he pours "thank you" pouring some into his mug too he puts the bottle down.

Moving from his kitchen to the couch we sit with a gap between us "remember Erin Pepperknack?" I nod "she's pregnant now"

I laugh "I'm not surprised" Erin got around "what ever happened to Andy Stevens?" His best friend "He moved out west, there's just a few of us left in town everyone's gone" he says with such a sad

tone "not that I'm complaining but I never thought anything was wrong with this place"

"Maybe not for you Carson but for someone like me who never found a place here and was always outcasted for being different, this was never enough."

"I hope I never made you feel that way"

He was the only one who invited me to his parties even though I never went I'd always stay home and fantasies what they'd be like "never."

We continue to drink, my phone starts to buzz with calls and texts from my mom who I completely forgot about "I'm so not ready to be there yet" I stand up walking to the kitchen "any way I can hide here for a month?" I pour more rum into my mug

"Yeah" walking to join me Carson puts his mug down and stares at me, I smile trying to not make it awkward but he seems somewhat serious "Flynn can I admit something?"

"Sure of course"

"I kind of knew you liked me in high school" Trying to hide my shocked face "define kind of?"

"Well how you acted plus this" he walks away and I wait freaking out this can't be happening I chug my mug of rum "I found this in my locker Valentine's Day sophomore year" my note. I unfold it reading it remembering my confession word for word

"I-" I correct myself "whoever wrote this never signed it how are you so sure it was me?"

"I may not have been the smartest person at our high school but it didn't take me long to figure out it was your handwriting" he kept it, for four years he kept that dumb note.

"Why'd you keep it?"