Aldis strolled into the drawing room, grinning from ear to ear.
My mood instantly turned to shit. I wasn’t aware he’d been back. His lover…er, mother, flew into his arms, hugged and kissed him like he was returning from a ten-year stint in the pen where he’d been unjustly sentenced for a crime he didn’t commit.
The whole room fell silent, watching the spectacle. They weren’t even hiding how overly familiar they were. Worse, it seemed the whole family knew and had decided to keep it quiet.

I couldn’t imagine what Papa was thinking. One stolen glance his way, and the look he cut toward his son and wife turned my blood cold. Even Calista looked uncomfortable; she drained her glass and all but bolted out of her chair to pour herself another.
Uncle Tolrin mumbled something under his breath at the other end of the table, but I didn’t catch. He, I, Aunt Olida and Bash were playing a game of Monopoly at my suggestion.  
Face turned up in disgust, Aunt Morana made a sound at the back of her throat.
Finally, Camile peeled herself off her son. She cleared her throat. “You were missed.” She stepped back, smoothing hand down her dress as if to collect herself from being carried away.
“It’s good to be missed.” Aldis’ gaze found me. Something in the way he said those words triggered a tremor of inexplicable fear in me.
I looked away, reached for the dice and rolled, needing to distract myself. My brother was a pervert, encouraged by his equally depraved mother, but that aside, I didn’t fear him. Until then.

         I couldn’t explain the sudden change. At one point, I was shaking so bad I backed out of the game and called it a night.
         Papa Knight asked me to wait. He followed me to my door, our mostly silent walk peppered with disjointed conversation that never quite landed to keep either of our attention for any length of time. At my door, he kissed my cheek and reminded me to get my end of summer event on the family’s calendar.
         Alana was waiting for me. Swallowing the urge to chase her away, I climbed into bed next to her when all I wanted was to barricade the door and windows and shut the world out.
My unease lingered for days. I withdrew into myself, wanting to be alone. Both Alana and Bash questioned me. I didn’t know how to explain myself, so I kept quiet.

Eventually, I talked myself out of the funk, deciding if Aldis or his mama stepped out of line with me again, I’d run straight to Papa and sing like a cannery.
Fuck being the cause of discord in the family. From everything I’d seen, it was safe to say my family’s dynamic was textbook dysfunctional.
         Life went on. Aldis watched me from afar but kept his distance. Papa and I kept our daily lunch dates. Sometimes, Aunt Olida or one of the uncles would join us, but for the most part, it was just the two of us. I loved spending time with him. His dry sense of humour, very much like my own, cracked me up. The more I spent time with him, the more I understood why it was so easy for my mama to fall in love with the man.
         The mansion was in a state of madness, preparing for Morana’s ball three days away. Between fittings, the dance and etiquette lessons she insisted on, and juggling two lovers, I barely had a moment to myself.
Honestly, I was having fun. At least for a moment, it was everything. On the nights Bash crawled into my bed, Alana stayed away. It was his custom to not spend the night, so it wasn’t at all surprising to wake and find Alana curled up next to me.
This worked out perfectly for me. While Alana and I shared an emotional connection, what Bash and I had was strictly physical. Fantastic sex. It was everything I thought I wanted.
So, tell me, why your girl was missing a certain someone? I’d go from happily cocking my ass up, to wishing it was Jax driving me into the mattress.
At first, I thought, maybe it was the difference of being with another man, without Jax. A part of me questioned if it was cheating. It didn’t help that I’d been calling him and have been going straight to his voicemail since the last time we hooked up.
Where was he, and why the hell wasn’t he calling me back?
I missed the way we fuck uninhibited, the way he held me like he feared I’d float away if he didn’t wrap his whole body around mine. I’d forgotten how cherished I felt in his arms, the way he would bring me to tears until I lose my mind, stroking deep and slow, loving on me like I was the air he needed to breathe.
Fuck it. I missed him.
It wasn’t the same with Bash. We didn’t talk much, and when we did, it was definitely not about anything of substance. We didn’t spend time together outside of my bed. My new lover fucked hard.
I should be floating on air. Because I had the best of both worlds. Bash wore my ass out and Alana gave the best head that I sometimes pass out from coming too much.
Shit, if left up to her, she’d spend hours eating me out.
But I longed for more. I longed for the connection I took for granted Jax and I shared.
I know what you’re thinking, I’m confused as fuck.
Who says I shouldn’t have it all? Don’t I deserve a little pampering from the man climbing into my bed almost every night?
Hell, yes and I planned on addressing it the moment he walked through the door, which wasn’t much longer. Alana had long since made herself scarce and I was sitting out on my balcony, sipping wine. I had on a white silk robe, the belt was undone, and the front hung open.
My nipples were stiff as the cool night breeze pass over them, while there was a furnace between my bare pussy lips. I wasn’t touching myself, though I wanted to, again. I was hot, and so damned aroused. I’d come twice by own fingers, which had done little to cool my blood.
Patiently, I waited, gazing out at the city below, a spread of dazzling lights in the surrounding darkness. It was a pretty scene, better than the view from the city, that I once had. At night the Hills was a lump of rock set against the dark sky, pockmarked by a spot of light here and there.
The knock at the door, pulled me out of my reverie. I downed the last of my wine and set the glass down on the table next to me. On a slow exhale I pushed to my feet, hoping in taking my time to answer the door, I’d give myself a little leeway to calm my racing heart.
As excited as I was, I didn’t want him to know how eager I was to see him. Closing the balcony door and drawing the curtains, I made my way across the room.
Most nights, Bash came to me straight out of the shower, and this night was no different. I opened the door to him standing before me with his housecoat open, one hand cupping his heavy balls over the waist of his pyjama bottoms and the other stroking his rock-hard dick.
Any thought I had of confronting him flew out of my damn head.
“I’ve been thinking of your tight ass all day,” he said, smoothing precum down the length of his veiny shaft, fist moving in slow, measured, twisting strokes. “Get on your knees, Pretty.”
Yeah, this was where we always started. Me on my knees, reaching for him and eager to please.
I took the broad head into my mouth and hummed at the first taste of his sweet cream. I don’t know what it was in his diet that gave his cum its sweet addictive flavour, but yours truly was never satisfied until I’m swallowing a mouthful.
Fucking delicious.
Greedy for more I hollowed my cheeks and sucked him down.
“Fuuuck, I love a well-trained slut. Remind me to thank Jax, the next time I see him.”
This. Bash had tapped into one of my kinks, the tangle of humiliation and pleasure, from the first time he came to me. And never missed an opportunity to remind me of how much of a filthy slut I was for the shit I allowed.
He wasn’t wrong. Jax had broken down my limits long ago, trained me to trust that edge where surrender turned dangerous. It was one of the reasons I didn’t mess with other men outside the threesomes he and I shared.
Being with Alana, a woman, was safe, a reprieve from my norm that on some level fascinated me. I was into some dark shit, and most men weren’t built like Jax. They didn’t have the self-control he had or understood my need to get off on having the air squeezed out of my lungs as I’m tied down and gagged while I’m helpless to do anything but take a good pounding. They didn’t have what it took to make me feel safe inside the storm.
It could be why I never considered straying too far from Jax. Those men he was willing to share me with, always shrunk away from my fascination with knife play.
Except Bash.
This motherfucker brought his own blade to the party and wasn’t above nicking my inner thigh to suck on the wound until it stung.
“That’s it,” he hissed, fisted my hair with one hand as he pressed the iron tip of the claw-ring on his thumb, into my throat.
The sharp tip bit into my flesh just enough to make me wince. A thrill of excitement danced up my spine. My pussy flooded and the warmth of my arousal trailed down my inner thighs.
I needed more, more of the danger.
As if sensing my need, Bash wrapped his large hand around my throat and squeezed.
Goosebumps rushed over my skin. “Hm,” I moaned, wanting a little more pressure.
That would tip me over the edge.
Bobbing on his dick I worked a lather up with my spit, the obscene sound of my sucking filled the entrance to my room. I hummed around his length, slabbering all over him.
“Ah, yeah slut, fuck that’s good head. Keep it going, get this dick nice and wet for your tight asshole.”
Bash delivered, squeezing my throat.
My eyes rolled back into the back of my head as I cupped the underside of his full balls until they were mushed against his shaft, angled my head to the side and deep throated every inch of him.
“Bitch,” he hissed.
Bash was the vocal type, and damn if I didn’t love it.
“Look at your pretty face, hmm. I’m gonna come all over it. Would you like that slut, do you want to get filthy for me?”
Oh, fuck, I was getting off on this shit. I spread my legs wider, slipped two fingers into my pussy and rode them, needing Bash to punish me.
Jax would never have allowed me to get off without his consent. This was his pussy; I’d have to beg to please it. The thought I was loaning it out, keeping it wet for him, was so deliciously twisted I came.
I pushed off his dick, spat on it and started pumping it, the fingers of my other hand moving furiously over my clit. “Oh, fuck Jax. I’ve been a bad girl, daddy.”
One second, I was on the floor about to come, and in the next I was being thrown well across the goddamn room. I landed on the bed. My body barely had time to bounce from the impact before Bash was on top of me. Teeth bared, eyes red as blood.
I squeaked; razor sharp terror ripped through me. My body locked up. And would you believe it if I told you I came. In the confusion, arousal won out over fear and I came, legs trembling from the release.
Bash snarled. “What the fuck did you call me?”
“Wha–?” It was all I got out before his hand wrapped around my throat, squeezing the life out of me.
Pushing a knee between my thighs he spread me open and shoved four fingers up my pussy.
Pain. Bright hot pain clouded my mind. I would have screamed if I could. My eyes burned with tears as I strained to breathe. I’d never been more scared in my life, or more fucking turned on.
There was something wrong with me. I’d known for a long time my mind was cracked. But where Jax had kept me reined in, allowing just enough lead to skirt the boundaries, Bash held no such regard, feeding into my fucked-up fantasies.
Don’t get me wrong, I was scared, this was further than I’d gone, and on top which, it wasn’t something we discussed or something I was expecting.
“Stop struggling,” he said, pinning me with his red demon eyes.
My body sagged, complying before my brain computed the words. Smirking he withdrew his hand from between my legs.
My pussy gushed.
“Good girl.” Relaxing his hold, he leaned in and sniffed me. When he leaned back, his eyes had returned to normal. “I hate that he got to you first. Do you know how much pussy we shared? But you, he kept from me.”
“Let me up,” I said hoarsely.
I was on the verge of freaking out, but I’d be damned if I let him see me cry.
Bash chuckled. “You’re not scared, not by the eyes or the fangs. So don’t even pretend. How many times have I been careless with you, showed you what you’re not meant to see? Not once have you batted an eye.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I wasn’t stupid, and only a dumb bitch would cop to seeing something she had no business seeing.
“Mhm.” He reached between my legs and started playing with my pussy. “That’s because you don’t remember, and by tomorrow you won’t remember this conversation either.”
Removing his fingers from my throbbing entrance he painted my lips with my arousal. “Why do I reveal myself to you, or why won’t you remember?”
“Both.” I licked my lips, accepted when he leaned in and sucked the slick off my bottom lip.
“Because I’m hoping in doing so, you’ll wake the fuck up. But you never do. Instead, you look the truth in the eye, feign fear, cry, and then ride my dick like the crazy bitch you are.”
“Are you saying this happened before?”
“What were you thinking of when you called his name?”
“Enough. We’re not going over this again. Every thought running around your pretty little head we’ve discussed at ad nauseam. Some days you believe me, others you don’t and then there are those days when you freak the fuck out. No matter, the outcome stays the same. Nothing changes.”
“What are you expecting to happen?”
He kissed my chest, licking one nipple and then the next as he eased between my legs and lined his dick up to my entrance.
“Tell me, what were you thinking when you called his name?” He pressed, ignoring my question.
“Because I want to know.” He eased into me and kept working his dick past my entrance in slow, shallow thrust.
This wasn’t his style. Bash went hard, his thrust punishing.
As if he was trying to leave his mark, I thought, raising my gaze to find his watching, waiting. My mind flashed back to the night I found him with Jax on the roof.
Was Bash jealous of me? Or maybe he was jealous of Jax? The two did have a history and fucking me could be some sort of get back.
“I was thinking he should be here, to watch you fuck me.”
Bash snapped his hips back and thrust forward, slamming into me.
I hissed, thankful for the pain. It kept me rooted in the moment, no time to think of the shit he did, how he’d tapped into my headspace, that it had both scared and thrilled me or how fucked up it was, that he was now carrying on as if nothing happened.
“You really think he would like that?” He ground his pelvis against mine, sinking deep.
“He didn’t have a problem with it last time.”
“I didn’t fuck you last time.” Reaching beneath me he cupped my bottom, pulled me close, swivelled his hips and began to fuck me nice and slow. “Last time I ate your pussy.”
“Well,” I moaned. “We were interrupted.”
“True, but he wouldn’t have let it go any further. If you remember, he didn’t agree to it. You’re the one who prompted. He didn’t want to share you, not with me. Why do you think that is, Pretty? Why would he have a problem sharing you with me but not with others?”
This was the weirdest bedroom talk I’d ever engaged in. I lifted my hips to meet his thrust, wrapped my legs around his waist and threw my arms around his neck. 
“I don’t know,” I said, completely over the conversation.
I nipped his lips, waited to see what he would do. He licked the sting away, leaned forward and slanted his mouth over my own. We fucked like this, slow and sweet. Which was crazy fucked up, considering everything that preceded this moment. It was the most connection I’d had with him or could remember. Who knows, maybe most of our nights were like this, but I couldn’t recall.
“Mhm, this pussy. So, fucking snug. Ah, fuck, damn, shit it’s hot.”
I closed my eyes, tucked my face against his throat and rode out the pleasure of his thick cock screwing my pussy deep and slow.
His grunts and my quiet moans created a symphony in the silence of my room, our tangled bodies slick with sweat as we rode the high, chasing our own release. I climaxed first, my spasming walls clamped down on him, tipping him over the edge.
“Shit Pretty, this pussy is too damn good,” he moaned, holding me close like I was his, like this, us meant more to him as he sprayed my walls with copious amounts of cum. “I need you to forgive me.”
Like I said I was over the conversation and didn’t want to unearth it. What happened, happened. “Just let it go.”
He rolled off me, spilling cum all over my and leg as he pulled out. Laying on his side he pulled me into him until my back rested against his chest, his wet cock pressed against the crack of my ass.
“I’m not talking about what happened earlier. It wasn’t the first you did that shit. I won’t lie and pretend it didn’t piss me off or that I’m not jealous.”
“Then what are you apologizing for?”
“For what comes next.” He dropped a kiss on my bare shoulder. “You won’t remember half the shit that happened tonight, but if you do remember anything, remember I tried.”
I shifted onto my back to look up at him, “What are you talking about?”
“I’m out of time, what’s comes next isn’t up to me. Just don’t hate me, I’m not half the asshole I pretend to be. Fuck, Pretty, you don’t know how much I wish things were different.”
“You’re scaring me.”
Worse, I hated the fog clouding my brain
“I know.” He cupped my face. “Hey, look at me.”
I was an emotional mess, transfixed by his words as I gazed into his eyes with tears streaming down my cheeks. I wanted clarity, but the more my poor mind battled to hold onto the little I knew, I sunk deeper and deeper into the reality he was weaving. 
In the end, you and I both know it was a futile fight.
The following morning, I woke to Alana waving a card in my face and hugging a dozen red roses. She summed the note up before I had the sense to ask.
“Get ready for seven, Bash wants you to join him for dinner. These are for you.” She pushed the roses at me and a small gold jewelry box I hadn’t noticed. “Open it, open it.”
“Alana.” I bat her away and rolled to the edge of the bed, trying to get up.
What the hell was she putting in her coffee to be so disgustingly cheery in the morning?
“Well, aren’t you going to open it?”
“Oh, for fucksakes. Can I piss first?”
“Grump,” Alana smirked, scrambling off the bed with her nose buried in the bouquet of roses.
Finally, I was getting what I wanted. A night out with Bash.
         So why the hell wasn’t I happy?