Nathan took me for a full checkup,quietly asking the doctor,“How’s her condition?”
The doctor sighed,looking at me.“I’m sorry.Her cancer has spread rapidly.Without early treatment,it’s grim.With conservative care,maybe a year.”
A year?I had thought I had months.

I smiled genuinely.“That’s plenty of time”
After leaving the hospital
,Nathan was silent,gripping my hand tightly.
I knew he was mad I refused inpatient treatment.
I didn’t want to die in a sterile hospital that reeked of disinfectant
I tugged his hand,grinning.“Nathan,talk to me.”

Under the streetlight,he turned,eyes red.“Don’t think skipping the hospital means no treatment.I’m dragging you there daily.”
I pouted.“Don’t wanna.”
He tapped my forehead.“Sick people take medicine.Since I saved your life, you listen to me”
I imagined chemo—bald,skeletal,dying in a bed.

I shuddered.
While walking,I asked,“Nathan,do morticians really fix appearances?I don’t want to die bald and ugly.”
He didn’t answer,carrying my meds and holding my hand
After a long silence,he said softly,“You’re not ugly.”
I didn’t catch it.“What?”
He sighed,and his voice was like a breeze
.“You don’t need makeup.You’re beautiful.”
The night wind felt refreshing
My face flushed,and I ducked my head.“You’re too good at this,Nathan.”
He took me to his place.
I curled up on his couch,exhausted.
My phone rang.
I answered,and my younger brother’s voice barked,“Where the hell are you?”
I hadn’t expected a video call.He adored Grace and hated me“Grace rushed back when she heard about you.Are you playing hide-and-seek again?”Did they remember me?
But what was the point?
Go back to being their punching bag,living under their glares,humiliated?
I clutched my aching stomach.“I’m not going back.”
I was dying.Why bother?
Mom grabbed the phone,scolding,“Enough.Come home.No one’s indulging you.Can’t you be more like Grace?I wish I’d never had you!”
I’d braced for it,but her words still shook me.
I laughed bitterly.“Fine.I’ll die far away,out of your way.”
Mom’s face twisted.She smashed a glass.“Get back here,or you won’t be my daughter!”
Her usual dominance didn’t hurt anymore.
The knots in my heart unraveled.
I smiled.“Good.I don’t want this family either.”