AMELIA’S P.O.V

I knew I was hurting him by not letting him in but I couldn’t.


How could he help when even I didn’t know how to help myself? I was home and that should have been the most important thing but I still found myself terrified. In my nightmare, I was back in Blake’s little hideaway house. I was back with him and my baby was gone.

How could I tell Kaden that knowing fully well that he was going to lose his mind and panic? I didn’t want him stressed- didn’t need him stressed right now. One of us needed a clear head and it was obvious that person wasn’t going to be me.

“Amelia, baby, please look at me,” Kaden’s voice was soft and coaxing as he wiped my tears off my cheeks. “Please.”


I wasn’t sure if it was the please or the sound of pure defeat in his voice that had me slowly opening my eyes. He gave me a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes and I couldn’t help it, I leaned up to kiss him. It wasn’t a deep kiss of unbridled passion, it was soft, almost explorative, just a friendly reminder to myself that he was here and he was real.

He kissed me back softly, pouring out every bit of his love into that kiss, reminding me that he was right here with me. Tears welled up at the back of my eyes again. I wasn’t sure if I was just being emotional because of what happened or because I was pregnant but I was getting tired of them.


“How long did I sleep?” I asked him knowing fully well that I couldn’t fall asleep again- at least not now.

He glanced over at the clock on the wall. “Two hours, I take it you’re not going back to bed.”

I shook my head.

I wasn’t sure why I expected him to be annoyed with me or slightly upset but he didn’t even seem bothered, he just hummed and slowly got out of bed. I watched him carefully as he held out his hand to me. I didn’t know what he had planned but I trusted him, far more than I trusted myself in this moment so I took his hand and let him pick me up.

He carried me in a front piggy back and I clung to him like a koala. He didn’t seem to mind, didn’t even break a sweat as he walked us down the stairs. I knew I should have made an effort to get off him, especially when he began making hot chocolate for me but I needed him close, needed to feel him, to remind myself that I was here, I wasn’t there anymore.

He made a singular cup of hot chocolate and carried me out of the house towards the back porch where a massive swing sat. There were so many pillows, just the way I liked it and even a huge blanket. I wondered if he always kept it this way or if he had done it for me but I didn’t ask.

He sat down, pulling the blanket over us before handing me the mug.

I made no move to stop straddling him, choosing instead to stay seated in his lap while he stroked my hair softly. His gaze alternated between me and the sky behind me. Somehow, I just knew he did it for my benefit so as not to make me uncomfortable. He wore his emotions on his face as clear as day.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “There are a ton of other things you could be doing instead of staying here with-”

“There is nothing more important than being here with you,” he cut me off. “I don’t want you to think for a second that there is anywhere I would rather be but here.”

I snorted. “You have pack work, you have other things you could be doing.”

“That is true, but none of them are as important as being here with you. I’m right where I want to be.”

He placed a soft kiss on my forehead and I leaned closer into him. It was amazing how simply being with him could make things feel a million times better. My nightmare was at the back of my mind now, almost completely forgotten as we sat underneath the moon and twinkling stars.

“Do you think I’ll ever be okay?” I asked him, almost terrified for the answer. “The nightmares, do you think they’ll stop?”

“You won’t even tell me what they’re about.”

“Him,” it was as vague as I could get but he clearly understood. “I was back with him.”

“He will never get to you again.”

“I know,” I sighed softly. “I trust you, but do you think they’ll stop?”

“I think you’re an incredibly strong woman and what you went through,” he trailed off. “I know you’ll be fine, Amelia, and if you’re not, it doesn’t matter because I’m always going to be here. Whenever you need a reminder, I’ll be here, I’m not leaving you.”

“Not even if I have nightmares for the rest of my life?”

He shook his head. “Not even then.”

I looked into his eyes trying to find an inkling of deception but there was none. He was telling the truth, at least for now. I slowly got off him long enough to drop the half empty mug on the ground before climbing back into his lap.

I knew I was acting very codependent, clinging to him like a child and depending on his comfort instead of working to be strong but after everything, I deserved a fucking break. I deserved to be codependent for a while if that was what made me feel better.

“Can we stay home tomorrow?” I asked. “I’m not ready to see anyone right now. I don’t have it in me to pretend to be fine.”

“Whatever you want, baby. You don’t have to leave until you’re ready.”

“Thank you,” I lay my head against his chest, listening to the beating of his heart. “Sometimes I think I want you to fuck me but other times, I don’t because I still feel him on my skin.”

He didn’t speak but I knew he could hear me because his heart picked up.

“I don’t want you to hate me.”

“I could never hate you. I don’t care how long it takes until you’re ready to be in my bed again, what we have is bigger than that. I need you to know this.”

“I do,” I whispered. “Can we stay out here please, for a little longer. I think I like it here.”

He didn’t respond, merely pulled the blanket over us and ran his hand down my back in a comforting manner.

“Thank you,” I whispered and he responded with a soft kiss to the center of my head.

“Anytime.”