Vance's POV



Fuck!

Nadia made me feel like such a failure.

An alpha like me shouldn't care. It should be one of those things. I'm made to use people and people are made to bend to my will. So do I even feel anything that Nadia would've preferred my rejection to being my Luna?


'Hey Alex." I called out to my wolf whom I haven't spoken to in ages.

'Look what the cat dragged in." He said, laughing.


'What do you mean?" I asked him.

'Exactly what I said." He shot back.

'I'm not here for this." I say, discontinuing the back and forth.

'What you are here for is worse." He replied, choking on his words with laughter.

'Alex, I'm about to fuck up my second marriage." I said to him as a matter of fact. 'The pack is disgruntled enough over Talia, we are not trying to give them more reasons." Hearing it come from myself makes it sink even deeper.

'Fuck what you think, Vance." His reaction caught me by surprise. 'Fuck your ugly memories," this bit got me very upset, but I tried to keep my cool, 'fuck Nadia, fuck Tal…" He ranted on.

'You should shut the fuck up." I cut in, very irritated.

'I didn't bring myself into this." He defended.

'My mistake, never mind." I said, flippantly.

'Whatever." Such a stupid ass response, but I wasn't in the mood for bickering.

The fresh wound on my hand does not even hurt as much as the pain in my heart. I was never really this fickle, especially not after growing up without my mom.

'Nadia." I called her before even thinking. 'Please, come."

'Vance, leave me alone." Her voice sounds shaky.

First name is not an ideal way to address an Alpha, but we both could not care less.

'Baby?" I called her. I actually really feel unusually emotional about it, and it hurts that I can't even control how I feel anymore.

'What?" She shot back.

'I'm sorry for all the attention I never gave you, for how I made you…" I apologized, near tears.

'That won't cut it." She shot back, exposing her reddened face.

'But we can start somewhere. If not all over again, we can start somewhere." Desperate me wanted to convince Nadia and allay all her well founded fears.

Then it suddenly struck me that this same woman was once the gullible Nadia I used to have sex with, and then decided to do away with. I can only wonder how Landon, my beta would feel, but I couldn't care less. If his happiness makes me happy, he's going to have to find joy in something else, or someone else, I guess…

Nadia bolts to the bathroom and jams the door shut.

'Babe?" I called to her.

'Go." She shot back.

Unfortunately for her, the door is just jammed, not locked. I opened it with my bloodied hand, to see Nadia crying on the floor.

She looks too comfortable for me to think this is the first times she's locking herself up to cry here.

'I'm sorry." I said, after mutely observing how I made everyone around me eventually feel.

'You never are, Vance, don't lie to me." She raises her head up to reveal red swollen eyes. 'The question is ‘what are you sorry for?', Vance?" She throws me a dead look, her face pale and expressionless.

'I don't know what to do!" I screamed. I just could not help it anymore. I'm trying to not go mad here. As mad as she is at me, I'm ten times more mad at myself for fucking myself and everyone who has come too close to me up. I'm struggling to hold the tears back. An alpha is never vulnerable. But I've been too strong for so long.

'I'll give you tips." She said. 'Start by leaving me the fuck alone." Nadia throws in a sad defeated smile. 'It's one thing to know you don't give a fuck about me, and I've made friends with that fact, hell, I'm cool with it." Her eyes are beginning to water again, making her brown eyeballs look extra glossy. 'But what I won't let you do is keep leading me and and messing with my emotions. Just be in one damn place. You don't like me and that's fucking fine. This marriage is just a thing of convenience between us both. Let's keep it like that. We could be housemates." She forces a smile and stretches her sexy lean hand towards me in a handshake.

Grabbing her hands, I lifted her from the floor. Her red robe which was initially loosely wrapped around her comes apart, revealing her sexy, silky skin, her cleavage and belly button well in sight. Nadia does not even bother to re-knot it.

Standing her upright in front of me, I hold her hands back with my wounded fist, she offers no resistance making it less stressful for me.

Her eyes stare straight ahead, like one lost in a trance.

I cupped her chin in my hand, and raise her gaze up to meet mine.

'I love you, Nadia." I told her point blank. I heard her little gasp but I choose to ignore it. It brought a smile to my face though. 'I would keep going round.

'It's too late." She replied. 'It took you all that time and drama to come up with it. I'm not taking love as a compensation, it's fine if moon goddess didn't write that part of my destiny well." She respectfully turned me down.

'It never is, Nadia. There is no such thing." I said to her, her face still in my hands. 'it's either you want it, or you don't anymore."

'I'm not trying to have this back and forth with you. I don't want it. You're the Alpha and whatever you say stands. You don't have to care about how I feel. I'm obligated to do all you want me to. Say the word and I'd spread my legs only too open for you."

I dropped her hands and head at the sound of that.

'Remove this robe." I commanded her.

Nadia does not even contemplate it for a split second. The robes comes sliding down in reckless abandon.

'Face the wall."