Keep Going
Keep Going:2140words
Update Time:2024-11-01 09:40:38
[Shayle]He sat up more and took my hand. I could see a haunted look on his face. Craig looked at me with his soulful dark brown eyes. It was almost enough to make me gasp. There was so much pain in his eyes. “Moose don’t mate for life. We are solitary and stay that way until it’s time to mate. Not all of us want that life, though. The goddess doesn’t care about that. Just like she doesn’t care about giving people mates that don’t fit them, or taking away mates who could be perfect for someone because of some choice she made without considering anyone else. Aren’t you tired of living under the oppression of her ‘plans’?” he asked. “You don’t want to ‘have your pick of females’ anymore?” “I fell in love with a weremoose cow. She was beautiful. We decided to leave and get away from other moose so I didn’t have to fight for her every fall. We traveled in our moose forms toward an island where it was rumored no other moose lived. Our bags were strapped to my back as we traveled, but we didn’t have money to charter a boat to the island. “We decided to swim. It didn’t seem like a long distance and we thought it would be fine. We were heading out at dusk so our outlines would be hidden, but we could see. It wasn’t good enough, though. She was killed by an orca. It all happened so fast and there was nothing I could do. “All I was trying to do was have a life with a woman that I loved. I was just trying to be happy and the goddess let her die. Then I realized we were going against the way the goddess made us. She was punishing us for thinking we could be something other than what she made us. The goddess didn’t care about my happiness. If she did, then she wouldn’t have killed the woman I loved,” Craig told me. It seemed like he had a valid gripe, but the goddess didn’t control all the animals of the world. I didn’t think that she would have killed one moose just because she wanted a mate instead of a rutting partner. It seemed very small and petty in a way I didn’t think the goddess could be. His words were filled with venom. Saying something wouldn’t be met with an open mind. This guy had some serious issues. If Pyla was Forrest’s mate, then it was because the goddess felt she would be the best fit for him. I would accept it. I was in denial before, but my time in the troll village in the fae realm helped. Spending time with my sister and my cousins often helped me to gain perspective. I was just a little bitter still when I got home and heard about Forrest moving her in with him. “That sucks, but it sounds like you have it worse than I do. All I have is an unknown true mate and a broken heart from losing my first love to someone else.” “It doesn’t have to be like that for you, though, Shayle. You can be happy. You can have the mate you want.” I looked over at him. He didn’t seem to be telling a lie, but that was way too good to be true. I couldn’t have Forrest if the goddess gave him to someone else. That was how it worked. We were granted one mate and that was it. Our love for them came as soon as we found them. For some, it even came before they were old enough to recognize the other person as their mate. That is what everyone figured was going on for Forrest and his lizard. I would never go against the goddess’ decision. I may want Forrest for my own, but it didn’t mean that I would actively go against my goddess. “You don’t come from a species with mates. That’s not how it works. If the lizard is his mate, then there is nothing I can do about it.” “Shayle, you only believe that because it’s what you’ve been taught. They’ve indoctrinated you into the goddess’ will. It’s all brainwashing. Trust me. There is a future for you that includes having the man you want for your mate. All you have to do is put your belief into someone who wants to make that happen for you,” he said. When I got back from the fae realm, I checked in at the forest village and they told me to beware of supernaturals in the human lands who were trying to recruit people into their community. This sounded an awful lot like a pitch for a ‘different’ way of life. “I’m listening,” I replied. “Deities need us more than we need them, did you know that?” Craig asked. I shook my head. “That wasn’t what I was taught.” He didn’t seem to smell the lie. That was good to know. I wanted to hear what he had to say. Where was he going with this?“Of course not. It wasn’t what I was taught either. I was taught that the goddess loved us and she guided our lives so we could gain everything we needed to be happy. That’s not true, though. The goddess needs us to believe in her and worship her. Without us, she is powerless. “All deities need worshippers to keep them powerful. The fewer people they have believing in them and praising them, the weaker they become. But we are taught to submit to our goddess. We are told to do what she wants. ‘The goddess never makes mistakes’ and ‘she gave us freewill’ are the excuses that push her shortcomings onto us. “Don’t you want a deity who knows they need you more than you need them? They would be more eager to give you what would make you happy. They wouldn’t want to lose you as a follower, because they understand that you don’t really need them,” he explained. This man was insane. I broke the cardinal rule of fuсking around. Don’t stick your diсk in crazy, if you’re male, and don’t let crazy stick its diсk in you, if you’re female. My mother would be so ashamed of me. “And you know of a deity that understands their position? From what I know of other deities in the world, they are all like the goddess with their ‘plans’ and making their followers worship them in return for whatever they’re willing to give,” I scoffed. “But there’s one more that you don’t know about. A god who is growing in power. He gives gifts to his followers until he can give them what they truly desire. I saw him heal a woman who lost a limb and couldn’t grow it back. She was a witch with one arm and now she has two fully functioning arms. “When we join, we tell him what we want, what our dreams are, what we need in order to give him the worship and praise that he needs to be powerful. Nothing is impossible for him. He gives his blessings to those who the goddess has forsaken.” For a witch to regrow an arm it would be powerful magic. Whatever this ‘god’ was, it was certainly strong. Could it be strong enough to go against the goddess, though? She had millions, if not billions of worshippers. I already knew that deities gained power through their followers and she had far more than this other god probably did. “What did you ask for?” “My mate back. He said he cannot raise the dead yet, but that he will bring her back to life as soon as he has enough followers. For now, he healed my heart and helped me come back into the world. He made me believe in myself again. I’ve followed him for five years and I believe in him more than I ever believed in the goddess,” Craig admitted. “You can talk to him and he talks back?” I asked. “Well, he doesn’t speak to us directly, but his prophet speaks for him and performs his miracles with our god’s power. It’s understandable. The prophet is a powerful being who can handle the voice of a god in his head. He’s amazing. I think you might like him, Shayle.” “Oh? Is he a monster fuсker, too?” I laughed. He frowned at me. “I’m not a monster fuсker. I don’t like you just because of you being a troll. I didn’t even know what you were before I brought you here. Don’t belittle me or the prophet.” “Sorry. Troll nature.” “I don’t know enough about trolls, but you don’t smell like you’re lying, so I’ll believe you. We want more people to join our community and help us to empower our god. I think we can offer you exactly what you want and deserve. Shayle, you deserve Forrest, that lizard doesn’t. Let me help you get what you deserve.” Craig smiled warmly at me. I closed my eyes. Did I really deserve Forrest? What had I done to deserve him? I didn’t provide anything for him that was different. I didn’t treat him in the gentle way he seemed to want to be treated in. All of our lives, I made him act more like a troll than he wanted to. I didn’t let him be soft and I didn’t accept his soft friends like his mate should. Maybe I was a candidate, but I proved myself to be nothing more than someone who cared more about what other people thought than what made the man I loved happy. I wasn’t even selfish in a good way. I was selfish in a bad way. I believed I deserved him but never did anything to actually deserve him. “What are you doing? Praying? Asking the goddess to prove to you that I’m wrong and she cares? You won’t get an answer. She never answers,” he said in an icy voice. Keep going.The words popped into my head from nowhere. The goddess loves all her children, but she loves the fae a little more. She answered us, but not always in a tangible way. “You’re asking a lot. I don’t know and I need time to think. Can you give me time?” I asked. “There’s nothing wrong with doubting. How long do you need? I can wait for you.” “Until after Forrest’s coming-of-age. Once I know for sure the goddess gave away what was rightfully mine, there is no way I could keep believing in the goddess. What do you think he will do for me if the lizard is my Forrest’s mate?” A dark smile spread across his face. “He will sever their bond and give Forrest to you. If the lizard won’t let go, we’ll kill her. Forrest will belong to you in every way possible, Shayle.” Some part of the selfish troll brain inside me liked the idea of someone killing my rival. Loyalty to my people and those who were my friends tamped it down, though. I may not like Pyla because of how she embarrassed me, but if she was Forrest’s mate, it would only hurt him if she died. It wouldn’t make me his obvious choice afterward. She was still a troll, anyway, even if it was only half, and this shifter was talking about killing her. I managed not to give away how I was feeling. The goddess helped me to keep my temper in check. I lost my fight to Pyla fair and square. We were trolls. Trolls didn’t sneak around and get others to do their dirty work. If anyone was going to kill her, it was me and I had no reason to anymore. It was as if something burst inside of me. Pyla was a troll. We might not be kin, but we were kind. I didn’t need to like her to value her life. “Mmm. Maybe. That does sound good. Are you healed? Because all this talking has made me horny again,” I purred. He winced a little, but smiled and nodded. “I’m more than ready.” “Good. Trolls fight for dominance every time we fuсk. I hope you’re ready to lose again.” Before he could answer, I was on him, pinning him to the bed. He struggled against me a little, but not too much. He had learned his lesson well. I grabbed his cоck and started stroking him slowly. He moaned.I didn’t know how many times I would have to fuсk him before I could leave and he wouldn’t suspect what I was about. That wasn’t important at the moment. I would let myself enjoy it until I could go home and tell Queen Maeve what I learned.