I lost count of how many days I've spent sulking inside my room. I only come out when I need to eat. It's a good thing that Mom and Dad understood and just let me be.
Usually, I just grab food and eat in my room. And then, they decided to just leave food outside my door so I could eat anytime, and I'll just put the dishes there when I'm done.
But it's hard to swallow food. I just stare at the food in front of me. I tried to eat the beef stew, but I felt like I was going to vomit. With every bite, I just remembered him. I really loved that person. I gave everything and almost left nothing for myself.
I almost choked trying to swallow the food, so I immediately followed it with water. While doing that, I didn't realize I was already in tears. My mind is so messed up. I don't know if I deserve to be hurt or left behind, because that's just what keeps happening.
Will I ever meet a man who will truly love me? It doesn't seem like it anymore. I know I'm still young and there are plenty of opportunities to love again, but I don't want to repeat. I don't want to get hurt. I just want to be happy, but why is it like this? Why do men always make me cry?
First, it was Aric Stormheart, and then Luke Skywalker. It's really difficult to love when in the end, my sacrificed heart is defeated. So I don't want to. I don't want to gamble my heart again in the uncertain game of love.
Maybe I should just do what my parents want. Because I don't have confidence in myself anymore, that I can find a man who will truly love me. I sighed again while eating.
After a few seconds, I stopped eating. But when I opened the door to put the dishes in the tray, I saw Mommy outside. She was waiting for me to come out.
When I saw her, tears immediately fell from my eyes. I don't know why, but I suddenly became emotional upon seeing her. It's like I needed someone to talk to, but I don't know how to talk to her. I need someone to lean on, but I'm embarrassed to open up to her.
"Isabella," she said my name but I wish she hadn't because I burst into tears.
"Mom, it hurts. It hurts so much what he did. I don't think I can handle this," I said to her and she just nodded.
I let her enter my room and then I poured out my frustrations. For the past few days, I've kept everything to myself. I bottled up the pain so I'm close to bursting.
"Why are you tormenting yourself, Isabella? You've been locked up in your room for days now and you're not eating properly. Look at yourself, you've become so thin. Enough. Forget about Luke," she said.
"How can I do that, Mommy? I love that person so much. I gave my whole heart to him, so what happened was so difficult for me. He didn't even say goodbye properly. He didn't even attempt to contact me. Maybe if he just called or texted once, I would be okay. But he didn't."
"Let's just understand Luke, Isabella. There's a heavy reason behind what he did," Mommy said.
"I don't care about his reasons! Is it that easy for him to forget me? Is it that easy? He didn't even call to check on me," I complained in a choked voice.
"Maybe something happened to him that's why he couldn't call you, Isabella. Let him go," she suggested to me.
Mommy is right. I don't have any other choice but to completely forget Luke and just move on. Because what else can I do? He left me. But what he did hurts. It would have been better if he knew the girl his Uncle arranged for him.
"Where's Daddy?" I asked and Mommy furrowed her brow. "I want to talk to him," I said.
"Why? Are you still angry with him, Isabella? Forgive him, darling. He didn't want you to be hurt like this but we didn't know that you and Luke were already in love."
"I'm not angry with Dad. I just want to talk to him about my wedding," I said in a soft voice.
I just realized that if it's that easy for Luke to marry another woman, I can do it too. I don't care if my future husband looks like a crab. It's better if my husband is ugly so I won't be able to love him. Plus, it's hard when he's handsome, I might fall. I don't want to give my heart to another person.
"Mommy? Where's Daddy?"
"He's in the room. Your Daddy has a fever," Mommy said, causing me to furrow my brow.
"He has a fever? Why?" I asked because I'm not used to my father getting sick.
Since childhood, I haven't heard of him getting sick so I worried. Then, I looked at Mommy. That's why she has dark circles under her eyes because she's been so stressed with Daddy and me.
"I'm sorry, Mommy. Luke was right. I'm too selfish and I don't care about the people around me. I didn't even know that Daddy was sick. I'm sorry," I apologized.
"Why are you apologizing? It's just a fever and your Daddy can handle it," Mommy said to me but I saw in her eyes that she was also worried.
"I'll just take a bath, Mom, and I'll go to Daddy. Just tell him that I'll go there after I take a bath," I said and Mommy immediately nodded.
She stood up and bid goodbye. When Mommy left, a deep sigh escaped my lips. I realized that as the heiress of Pembroke, it was time for me to fulfill my duty as the Alpha's daughter.
I'm determined. I'll agree to marry anyone chosen by my parents for the good of Pembroke, and I don't care about my own feelings anymore. After realizing things, I slowly took off my clothes and entered the bathroom.
The water flowing from the shower was cold, but I didn't care even if it was as cold as ice. It's better now for me to calm down from my insanity. Because of Luke, I gave my parents trouble.
After showering, I immediately dressed up. I wore casual clothes because I didn't plan on leaving the house. As I picked out the clothes in my wardrobe one by one, I realized I needed to buy new clothes.
I chose to wear navy blue shorts and paired it with a white blouse. My outfit was very simple, but I suddenly felt like I looked different when I looked in the mirror. If I used to be somewhat conservative in choosing my clothes, I don't care now. After spraying some perfume, I immediately left the room and headed to my parents' room.
I found Daddy being given medicine by Mommy and leaning against the headboard of their bed. "Daddy," I said as I approached him.
"Isabella, it's good that you came out of your room. How are you?"
"I'm okay, Daddy. By the way, Daddy, I just want to let you know that I'm willing to marry anyone you choose," I said to him and his eyes widened in surprise.